How to stop obsessing about the future
Transform “what if” anxieties into actionable “if, then” scenarios.
Do you often worry too much about things that might go wrong?
Do you often picture worst-case scenarios that probably won’t happen?
Do you have trouble focusing on the present because you worry about the future?
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Humans can think about the future because our brains are built by natural selection to do so. Being able to make predictions about the world and imagine future situations helped our human ancestors to survive and reproduce by seeing threats and opportunities well in advance and act accordingly. It allowed them to avoid predators, find prey and shelter, and prepare for tough seasons.
“What if” worries
But this ability can lead to anxiety when we excessively think about possible bad outcomes, or when we frequently imagine worst-case scenarios having negative outcomes that probably won’t happen. This anxiety comes from our own minds, where we imagine possible future threats that we think we can't cope with. This is influenced by our natural negativity bias that makes us focus more on possible dangers. Even though these worries are meant to protect us, they often focus on imaginary threats that aren't real dangers to our survival. In such cases, the only thing causing us distress is our own imagination.
A common way this worrisome thought process shows up is through "what if" worries that indicate what we think might happen:
👉 What if I lose my job and can’t find another one, ending up financially ruined?
👉 What if my partner leaves me and I end up alone and miserable?
👉 What if my presentation goes badly and I embarrass myself?
👉 What if my loved ones get hurt and I can't do anything to help?
👉 What if something terrible happens to me while traveling, and I can't get the help I need?
Underneath the “what if” worries, we often find fears such as the fear of being rejected, failing, losing something important, being alone, facing health problems, coping with change, and feeling inadequate.
Unfortunately, worrying about “what if” questions strengthens our underlying fears. Because fear is uncomfortable, we often avoid situations that trigger fear, which reinforces these fears. This cycle leads to more anxiety and a feeling of losing control over our lives. Severe anxiety can cause issues like trouble sleeping, chronic pain, and depression.
How to stop obsessing about the future
It’s normal to worry about future events every now and then, but it becomes a problem when done excessively, as this can lead to anxiety and prevent you from enjoying the present moment and function effectively in important parts of your life. Here are several strategies to help you respond more effectively to this anxiety.
⚒️ Replace “what if” thinking with “if, then" thinking
Reframe anxious “what if” thoughts to actionable “if, then” thoughts by figuring out how you’ll handle the problem you’re worrying about if it actually happens. Let’s try it with the examples above:
👉 If I lose my job, then I will explore new career opportunities to find a job that suits me.
👉 If my partner leaves me, then I will focus on self-care and personal growth, and eventually look for someone who truly appreciates me.
👉 If my presentation goes badly and I embarrass myself, then I will seek feedback, practice more, and give a better presentation in the future.
👉 If a loved one gets hurt, then I will be there to support and care for them during their recovery.
👉 If something bad happens to me while traveling, then I will handle the unexpected challenges and become a more resilient traveler.
These new thoughts remind you that the outcome you fear may never happen (“If”) and that if it does, you can handle it (“then”). This means you no longer have to worry about disastrous consequences. This technique takes some practice, but it's worth it because it builds your confidence and gives you hope for the future.
⚒️ Focus on the present moment
Instead of obsessing about the future focus on the present moment.
Anxiety can cause physical symptoms like sweaty palms and a fast heartbeat, which can reinforce your anxious thoughts and feelings. When you realize you're anxious because of worrying about the future, take one or two slow, deep breaths and focus fully on your breathing. Notice the air going in and out of your nose, feel your chest rising and falling, and your belly expanding and contracting. This helps you connect to the present moment, calm your mind and body, and avoid a negative mindset.
Then consider what is most important to you right now, aligned with your life purpose, personal values, and principles, and move forward with your full focus on that.
⚒️ Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
Anxious thoughts about a future situation can lead to anxious feelings, which might make you avoid the situation that’s causing the anxiety. For example, you might avoid giving an important presentation or going to a social event. This avoidance then increases your anxious thoughts, creating a difficult cycle to break.
To stop this cycle, think about what advice you’d give to a good friend in your situation, and then give yourself that same kind advice. For example:
👉 “Try some deep breathing to calm your nerves.”
👉 “Just focus on what’s happening right now.”
👉 “Do your best and remember that’s more than enough.”
👉 “You’ve got this—just be yourself.”
Being kind and supportive to yourself reduces stress, boosts self-esteem, and makes you feel calm, content, safe, and secure. It also encourages you to take on new challenges and connect with others.
⚒️ Prioritize action over avoidance
Rather than avoiding important but challenging experiences because of anxiety, focus on engaging in activities that matter to you, even if they might make you anxious. This can help you realize that you can live a meaningful and purposeful life, even when facing difficult emotions. Make sure your activities align with your life purpose, personal values, and principles.
Start by making small changes instead of trying to take on too much at once. For example, if public speaking makes you anxious, begin by speaking up in small group meetings. Or, if you avoid social situations, try attending a small gathering rather than a large event. These small steps can build your confidence and show you that you can handle more than you think.
⚒️ Accept that the future is unpredictable
Understand that the future is unpredictable, and many of the things you worry about may never happen. Instead of dwelling on the worst that could happen, remind yourself that good things could happen just as likely. Things might turn out better than you think. Since you can’t predict the future, worrying about it only adds unnecessary stress.
By accepting that uncertainty is a part of life, you can let go of the need to predict every outcome. This shift in thinking can help you feel less anxious and more hopeful about what’s ahead. It also allows you to focus on what you can control right now, rather than getting stuck in worries about the future. This way, you can better handle challenges as they come and enjoy life as it happens.
Additional tips
👉 Handle negative thoughts and feelings: “What if” worries are just thoughts. Defuse or question these upsetting thoughts and make space for related anxious feelings. Interpret anxious feelings as a sign that you are facing something challenging and important.
👉 Seek support: Share your worries about the future with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can offer support and encouragement.
👉 Focus on what you can control: Focus your actions and efforts on what you can do today. You can’t control the future, but you can control how you approach and handle situations.
👉 Celebrate facing your anxiety: Acknowledge and celebrate each time you tackle an anxiety provoking situation.
References
How to Replace Anxious Thinking, Psychology Today, by Alicia del Prado Ph.D.
How To Face An Anxiety Provoking Situation Like A Champion, Forbes, by Amy Morin
The 5 Most Useful Responses to Anxiety, Psychology Today, by Joel Minden, Ph.D.
