Dealing with stress from everyday hassles
How you react to daily hassles matters more than the hassles themselves.
How much do small, everyday annoyances stress you out?
Did you know that this stress can seriously impact your health over time?
Want to learn simple ways to handle this stress better?
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Being stuck in traffic, waiting on hold with customer service, misplacing your keys, getting a last-minute task at work, or having a minor argument with your partner—any one of these small, everyday hassles can add to your stress. This is especially true if they frustrate you because you mentally resist them as unnecessary or see them as being in the way of what you want or need to do. You’d rather be doing something else than sorting out bills, doing tasks around the house, washing the dishes, cleaning out your car, waiting in line at the store, doing laundry, or checking bank statements. And before you've recovered from one annoyance, another one might show up, causing the stress to accumulate.
Research shows that how you react to daily hassles can have a big impact on your emotional well-being, physical health, and even how long you live. It’s not the number of hassles you face, but how much you stress over them that causes problems. These constant, nagging stresses add up over time and can lead to issues like depression, anxiety, relationship conflict, sleep problems, burnout, or a weakened immune system. Your body is built to handle short bursts of stress, followed by recovery time—not an endless stream of stress with no break! Taking small annoyances in stride and moving on helps protect you from this kind of ongoing stress.
How to lessen the stress of everyday hassles
Everyday challenges are a normal part of life, but there are ways to keep them from stressing you out by handling them as they come up.
⚒️ Reframe irritating experiences
Deliberately reframe irritating everyday experiences by looking at them in a more helpful way to reduce the stress they cause (this is at the thinking level). For example, if you're stuck in traffic and going to be late for an important meeting, thinking, “This is awful, I'm going to be late and mess everything up,” will increase your stress. Instead, to avoid or reduce stress, reframe the situation by thinking, “This gives me a few extra minutes to calm down and gather my thoughts before the meeting so I can perform my best.”
Afterward, immediately celebrate the reframe by doing something that feels rewarding, like giving yourself a high five or fist pump, or listening to a favorite song. This reinforces the habit of deliberately reframing, making it more likely to happen next time.
⚒️ Let go of mental resistance
Stop mentally fighting against some of your everyday hassles, as the gap between what is and your wish for it to be different creates tension (this is at the being level). Instead of resisting what's happening, let it be. Accept some of the things that annoy you—not by pretending you're fine with them, but by recognizing that they are an inevitable part of your life. Waiting in line at the grocery store, slow internet, app crashes, barking dogs, and household chores are just a few examples. Research shows that you suffer less when you accept these challenges as a natural part of being human.
⚒️ Shift your focus
You can shift your experience by choosing where to focus your attention (this is at the being level). Instead of focusing on the frustrating situation, notice the judgments your mind is making, then shift to simply observing and describing what’s happening. Notice the sensations you are feeling in your body, your thoughts about the situation, and how these thoughts make you feel. Focus on the unmet needs or desires behind these feelings, and what you would like to happen or how you would prefer to feel. This helps you step back and become an observer of your inner experience, creating some distance from the external situation, which allows you to respond more calmly and reduce the stress it causes.
⚒️ Change your behavior
Changing your behavior can help reduce stress by making it easier to handle everyday hassles (this is at the doing level). For example, if you tend to put things off and it stresses you out, setting small, simple goals can make tasks feel more manageable and reduce pressure. You can also try temptation bundling—pairing a task you don’t enjoy with something you love, like listening to your favorite podcast while doing chores. If you get frustrated in traffic, taking a few deep breaths can help you stay calm and make the drive less stressful.
You can also recognize everyday stressors ahead of time and change your behavior to avoid them. Leaving an hour earlier can help you stay out of major traffic jams and prevent unnecessary frustration. If grocery shopping feels overwhelming during busy hours, going at a quieter time can make it easier. If mornings feel rushed, laying out your clothes or packing lunch the night before can help you start the day more smoothly.
Small behavior changes like these can make a big difference in how you handle stress, helping you feel more in control.
⚒️ Practice opposite action
When you’re feeling stressed by an everyday hassle, first acknowledge the stress without judgment. Then, deliberately recall a time when you felt calm and relaxed. Visualize that experience vividly—notice the sensations in your body and the sense of calm you felt. The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to neutralize stress in the moment and remember that feelings, including stress, are temporary.
⚒️ Manage stress daily
Find a daily activity that helps you stay calm or unwind when stress builds up (this is at the doing level). Moving your body with yoga or exercise, taking a walk in nature, doing something creative like art or writing, or practicing meditation can help your body relax and keep stress from building up. Remember, it’s okay if you don’t do it every day or if it takes time to build the habit. Any effort counts and can make a difference.
References
Handling 7 Types of Daily Hassles That Can Make Life a Pain, Psychology Today, by Seth J. Gillihan PhD
Small Hassles, Big Stress: Why the Little Things Get to Us, Psychology Today, by Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D.
Managing Everyday Stressors Is Key to Health and Longevity, Psychology Today, by Polly Campbell
Find Relief From the Stress of Life's Daily Hassles, Psychology Today, by Melanie Greenberg Ph.D.
