Challenging our stories
Making sure our stories are grounded in facts.
Have you ever wondered if the way you see things truly matches how they are?
How often do you pause to check whether the stories you tell yourself hold up?
What stories might you be telling yourself today that could use a closer look?
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We are always trying to make sense of ourselves, others, and the world around us. Without even realizing it, we create stories that help us understand what’s happening. These stories show up as things like beliefs, theories, mindsets, and assumptions. Most of the time, they match reality and guide us toward reasonable actions. But sometimes, our view of the world doesn’t quite line up with what’s real. That’s because many of the stories we tell ourselves can blur the truth, even while they reassure us that we’ve got everything figured out.
We all have biases that can cloud our judgment. For example, the WYSIATI (What You See Is All There Is) bias makes us believe that the limited information we have is all there is to know, making it easy to jump to conclusions with insufficient evidence. For example, we typically form impressions of people within a second of meeting them. Another common bias is confirmation bias, where we focus only on information that supports what we already believe, ignoring anything that challenges it. For example, someone who believes a certain political party is always right might seek out news that aligns with that viewpoint while dismissing opposing perspectives.
Our feelings also shape our beliefs. When we feel anxious, hopeful, or angry, we're more likely to accept stories that align with those emotions—even if they aren’t based on facts. For example, we feel worthless because we failed an exam, so we must be worthless, even though failing one exam doesn’t determine our overall abilities or value.
Similarly, we often fall into the trap of the narrative fallacy, where we create stories to make sense of things, even when the facts don’t fully support them. We have a strong need for things to make sense, so when we come across something confusing or incomplete, we fill in the gaps with stories that create a sense of order—even if those stories aren’t accurate. If we don't know why something happened, we might invent a simple cause-and-effect explanation that feels right, even though it's not backed by real evidence. For example, in many ancient cultures, it was believed that lightning bolts were caused by sky gods.
Some of our stories aren’t based on any evidence at all. They often come from the influence of group beliefs and behaviors, where what others around us believe feels more important than what’s actually true. Social proof can lead us to take on those beliefs and behaviors simply because they’re widely accepted. For example, you might buy a book just because it is a bestseller. And tribalism can pull us even further, making group loyalty matter more than whether something is accurate. This can be seen when people are quick to defend actions or beliefs of their political or social group, even when those actions are clearly flawed or unsubstantiated.
When we hear something often enough, it starts to feel familiar—and that sense of familiarity can make it seem true, even when it isn’t. We sometimes end up believing things just because they’ve been repeated. For example, ideas like chakras or certain superstitions can start to seem credible simply because we’ve heard them so many times, even if there’s no scientific evidence behind them.
The stories we use to make sense of the world can cause real harm when they distort the truth, reinforce false beliefs, oversimplify what’s going on, or lead us to act on incomplete or inaccurate information. That’s why it matters to pause and question the stories we’re telling ourselves.
Why holding our views lightly matters
We need some intellectual humility—the willingness to hold our views lightly, especially because we often think we know enough when we don’t. It’s easy to feel sure we understand a situation, especially when we’re confident in how we usually make sense of things. But intelligence isn’t the same as expertise, and it doesn’t shield us from blind spots. In fact, even the most intelligent among us can fall prey to overconfidence, sometimes mistaking their quick judgments or strong opinions for genuine insight.
This kind of certainty can be harmful, especially in complex and important areas like politics, economics, or public health, where a superficial understanding often overlooks crucial details. When opinions are formed without enough knowledge—and then shared or acted on as if they’re fully informed—they can fuel polarization, spread misinformation, or lead to decisions that impact many lives. Often, the loudest voices aren’t the most knowledgeable, but the most convinced.
We all have tendencies that can narrow our perspective—whether it’s tunnel vision, wishful thinking, or loyalty to a particular group or ideology. The more certain we feel, the less likely we are to seek out new information or truly consider different viewpoints. That’s why staying curious, intellectually humble, open, and willing to say, “I don’t know enough yet,” is a strength—not a weakness. It helps us stay connected to reality, especially when the truth is more complex than we think.
What is meant by “true”
A statement about reality is considered true when it closely matches objective reality—something we can observe or verify with empirical evidence, independent of personal opinions, beliefs, or interpretations. While we can never be 100% certain, we can often reach a high degree of confidence based on consistent observations and evidence. For example, the statement “Water boils at 100°C at sea level” is true because it aligns with what we can reliably observe and measure under specific conditions. In contrast, the statement “The Earth is flat” isn’t true, because overwhelming scientific evidence shows that the Earth is round, and this conclusion is supported by multiple, independent lines of observation. In this context, we’re using “true” to mean factual accuracy—something we can check against reality with a high level of confidence.
Challenge our stories
To get closer to reality, we need to be a bit more skeptical and challenge the stories we tell ourselves. Adopting the mindset of a scientist, engineer, detective, or even a plumber encourages us to approach things with curiosity, look for empirical evidence that supports or challenges our beliefs, ask insightful questions, and remain open to adjusting our views when new information emerges. Below are some techniques, with questions and examples, to guide this process.
⚒️ Evaluate the truth of our stories
Before fully accepting a story, it’s important to pause and consider the evidence behind it. Asking the right questions helps us determine whether our beliefs are grounded in reality:
🤔 How do I know if this story is true?
🤔 What evidence supports this story?
To challenge the validity of a story—whether it's a belief, theory, or assumption—we need to critically evaluate how we know it’s true. This means looking at the evidence supporting the story and figuring out whether it's strong enough. The process involves identifying where the story comes from and assessing how trustworthy those sources are. By taking these steps, we can better judge the strength of the evidence and make more informed decisions. This approach helps us avoid accepting false or misleading information, making sure our beliefs and actions are based on reliable evidence.
👉 For example, let’s say you believe that a certain dietary supplement boosts memory. How can you be reasonably sure this is true? Is your story based on your own experience, or is it something you’ve read or heard elsewhere?
To assess the trustworthiness of this story, begin by looking for information from reliable sources. Check if health organizations, reputable websites, or experts in the field support the claim. Look for reviews or articles about the supplement that reference scientific research or clinical trials. Also, consider consulting your doctor or another trusted healthcare professional. They can help assess the credibility of the claims and offer advice on the supplement’s safety and effectiveness.
Pay attention to the quality of the sources and consider whether there might be any conflicts of interest influencing their claims. In general, it’s a good idea to trust information from reputable medical institutions, government health agencies, and respected health professionals more than claims made by the supplement’s manufacturers or anonymous online reviews. However, it’s also important to keep in mind that even well-known national health services may not always be entirely reliable.
👉 Or suppose you believe the story that a colleague doesn’t like you. What evidence do you have to support this?
To evaluate this belief, start by gathering concrete evidence. Reflect on specific interactions: Has the colleague made negative comments towards you? Do they avoid you in social or professional settings? Look for patterns in their behavior, like consistently dismissive or hostile body language during meetings. Also, consider feedback or comments from other coworkers that might confirm or challenge your perception. Have others noticed similar behavior?
Just like a detective gathering clues, you need to collect and analyze these pieces of evidence to evaluate the validity of your story. Consider alternative explanations as well—maybe your colleague is stressed or dealing with personal issues. By carefully examining and questioning the evidence, you can determine whether your belief is supported by solid grounds or if it’s based on a misinterpretation of isolated incidents. This thoughtful approach helps ensure you’re not jumping to conclusions without enough justification, much like a plumber diagnosing an issue by thoroughly inspecting each component of the plumbing system to find the root cause.
⚒️ Explore the mechanisms behind the story
To truly understand the validity of a story, it’s helpful to break it down and examine the underlying processes that make it work. Ask yourself:
🤔 How does this actually work at a detailed level?
Understanding the mechanisms underlying a story helps us see how likely it is to be true and where it might fall short. By looking at the details of how it works, we can better judge whether the story stands up to closer examination.
For example, consider the belief that some people can receive messages from the dead. To evaluate this belief, we need to look at what would need to happen for this process to work in a way that’s effective and credible.
Think about the nature of the communication. The messages might seem to include details about the life of the deceased, such as family events, personal relationships , or significant life events. For this to work, there would need to be a memory storage that holds the details of all deceased individuals' lives, a way to access each individual’s information, and a method for transmitting messages to the medium. This raises questions such as: How does this memory storage function? Where is it located? Who or what manages it? And how can it be accessed by a medium?
Next, take a closer look at the individuals who say they receive these messages. What kind of evidence do they offer to support their abilities? Have there been any cases where the information they shared was independently confirmed and matched known facts or records? Is what they say specific and consistent, or could it easily apply to many people? It’s worth asking whether their impressions might be shaped by guesswork, subtle cues, or other influences that make something feel more convincing than it is.
Another angle to consider is whether there are scientific or alternative explanations. Could the messages be explained by psychological factors, like subconscious cues, wishful thinking, or techniques such as cold reading? Are people responding to something the medium has picked up on without realizing it? Have any studies or controlled experiments been done to test these claims, and if so, what did they find?
Looking into these aspects helps us judge how likely the claim is to be true. This kind of careful questioning makes it easier to see where the story holds up and where it might fall short, so we can make more informed judgments about whether it’s worth believing.
When others hold beliefs we think might not be true, we can ask them to explain exactly how it works. If they struggle to do so, it may point to gaps in understanding or a reliance on assumptions. This kind of questioning can highlight whether the belief rests on solid evidence or leans more on stories and untested claims. Asking for a clear explanation encourages curiosity, invites closer reflection, and helps avoid jumping to conclusions. It fosters an open, grounded conversation where both sides can explore the evidence more thoughtfully.
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Challenging the stories we tell ourselves is about being open to new information, questioning our biases, and exploring the deeper workings of the beliefs we hold. By staying curious and critical, we can ensure our actions and decisions are grounded in reality, not in distorted or incomplete narratives. This approach not only helps us make better choices but also fosters a more accurate understanding of the world and ourselves.
References
Putting Our Assumptions to the Test, Hidden Brain, by Shankar Vedantam, featuring Abhijit Banerjee
