How to appreciate what you have
We tend to take our favorable circumstances for granted once they become routine.
When was the last time you felt grateful for the good things in your life?
Do you focus more on what you want but don’t have?
Are you aware that there will be a last time for everything you do?
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Many people, though not everyone, are fortunate to enjoy a good quality of life. If you are one of these people, you likely have a safe and stable home situation and a supportive social network of family and friends. You have access to clean water, electricity, transportation, adequate nutrition, education, health care, and stable employment. You feel safe from violence and crime and enjoy rights and freedoms such as freedom of expression, the right to privacy, and the right to a fair trial.
You enjoy privileges and opportunities that were unimaginable even for the elites of the past, like kings and nobles. Their castles and villas lacked amenities such as indoor plumbing, clean and safe water, electricity, indoor heating, air conditioning, refrigerators, ovens, and internet connections. They couldn't travel quickly, comfortably, and efficiently, as we do with cars, trains, and planes. They had no access to advanced medical care, antibiotics, or vaccinations. You belong to a generation who have never had it so good.
Yet, it's likely that you take your favorable circumstances for granted because they've become commonplace. Instead of feeling grateful for the positives in your life and appreciating the present moment, you might feel dissatisfied and focus on what you want but don't have–like a nicer car, a bigger house, a promotion at work, the latest gadgets, or trips to exotic places.
Human desire works like this: You want something in the belief that obtaining it will bring you lasting happiness. You focus on chasing what you lack. When you obtain it, happiness may last a few hours or days. But you quickly adapt and stop appreciating it, returning to your previous happiness level. Then, you pursue something new, hoping it will bring lasting happiness. This never-ending cycle of pursuit, known as the hedonic treadmill or hedonic adaptation, is a recipe for a life of dissatisfaction. Remember, you are not made to be happy all the time.
There is nothing wrong with having desires. The key challenge is in striking a balance between pursuing your ambitions and appreciating the good things already present in your life.
How to appreciate what you have
To better appreciate the positive things you already have in your life, you need to change your focus. Rather than concentrating mainly on what you lack, shift your attention to what you already possess. It's important to also reframe how you view these things: instead of taking them for granted, make a conscious effort to appreciate them.
The strategies listed below can help you change your focus and see things differently. Remember, not every strategy will work the same for everyone. Try each one a few times to figure out which ones you like and which ones you don't. Stick with the ones that work best for you.
⚒️ Negative visualization
To better appreciate something good in your life, imagine for a few seconds that it is gone.
Just like a fish doesn't understand the importance of water until it's out of it, we often don't realize the value of what we have until it's gone.
Try this brief negative visualization exercise for just a few seconds:
👉 Close your eyes if it helps you visualize better. Take two or three slow, deep breaths to connect with the present moment.
👉 Pick someone or something valuable you usually take for granted. For example:
Persons – partner, parent, child, friend, mentor
Possessions – home, car, cell phone, laptop, furniture
Work – job security, salary, colleagues, learning opportunities
Privileges – access to clean water, food, freedom, democracy, human rights
Physical health – sight, hearing, mobility, use of your arms, no toothaches
Emotional health – inner peace, sense of life purpose
👉 Imagine this favorable person or thing suddenly disappearing from your life. Visualize how your daily life and well-being would change without it. Notice how the absence makes you feel. You might feel discomfort, longing, or appreciation.
👉 Then, return to the present moment and realize that the person or thing is still in your life.
After this exercise, you might appreciate what you have even more and feel happier knowing how lucky you are to have it in your life.
Do this exercise regularly, as its effects fade over time due to hedonic adaptation. The goal is not to make you feel miserable, so don't dwell on imagining someone or something being gone. Just do the exercise for a few seconds.
⚒️ Last time meditation
To fully engage in what you're doing, imagine it could be the last time you ever do it.
As a mortal being, everything you do will eventually have a last time. There's a final breakfast, shower, favorite song, hike in nature, or sunset. There's a last conversation with loved ones due to death, separation, or life changes, like children moving out or health issues limiting activities.
👉 Occasionally, just for a few seconds, imagine that what you're doing right now might be the last time you ever do it. Whether it's enjoying a cup of tea, taking a walk, or being with loved ones, reflecting on life's impermanence and the fleeting nature of moments can help you fully engage in the present.
Imagine you're talking to your partner or a friend, but you're not really mentally present because you assume there will always be more conversations. Take a moment to consider that this might be the last time you speak to them. Doing this can help you be more present and truly appreciate the conversation.
⚒️ Practice gratitude
You can train yourself to focus more on the good things in your life by practicing gratitude. Each day, take a moment to reflect on what you're grateful for, whether big or small. This shift in focus helps you see life more positively and cherish what you have. Regular practice helps your mind recognize and value the positives more easily. Research shows that gratitude strongly correlates with increased happiness and life satisfaction.
Here are practical ways to incorporate gratitude into your daily routine:
👉 Keep a gratitude journal: Write down three things you're grateful for each day, no matter how small (or just the awesome fact that you’re alive). This reinforces their importance and trains your mind to notice the positive.
👉 Express gratitude to others: Thank a colleague for their help, acknowledge support from a family member, or compliment a stranger's kindness. Sharing gratitude not only benefits others but also strengthens relationships and fosters connection.
👉 Notice and appreciate positive moments: Take time to enjoy simple pleasures like a cup of coffee, a walk in nature, or a laugh with loved ones. Pay attention to these experiences and feel thankful for them.
👉 Use meals as moments of gratitude: Reflect on the food you eat and appreciate the nourishment it provides.
Integrating these practices into your daily life can help cultivate a mindset of gratitude and enhance your overall well-being.
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We tend to overlook our favorable circumstances once they become part of our routine. To develop a newfound appreciation for the good things in our lives, we should focus more on what we already possess and appreciate it. Techniques like negative visualization, last time meditation, and practicing gratitude can all help us achieve this.
References
How to Appreciate What You Have Already, Psychology Today, Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D.
Minimizing Pain, Maximizing Joy, Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam, featuring William Irvine
5 Ancient Ideas That Can Help You Flourish Today, Psychology Today, Marianna Pogosyan, Ph.D.
