Habits: Make behaviour attractive or unattractive
The expectation of a satisfying outcome motivates us to act.
Increase the chance of successfully building a new habit by making the behaviour attractive, and of breaking an existing habit by making the behaviour unattractive.
Our brains are constantly making predictions about what will happen. These predictions evoke feelings that influence our behaviour. We respond to our interpretation of future events, our thoughts about them, not to their objective reality. For example, let’s say you’ve been invited to a social event. Predicting a pleasurable experience can cause feelings of excitement, leading you to accept the invitation. Predicting an uncomfortable experience can cause feelings of anxiety, which may cause you to decline the invitation.
Craving is the motivating force behind our behaviour. When we expect a behaviour to be satisfying, our craving for that behaviour rises, increasing our motivation to act. Without sufficient craving, we won’t have enough motivation to respond. It is the craving that leads to the response. Craving is our desire to change our internal state, such as feeling alert, relieved or entertained. You don’t crave the habit itself, but the change in internal state you expect it to produce.
Before we perform a certain behaviour for the first time, we don’t yet know what reward we can expect. If the reward is satisfying, the next time that we recognise the behavioural cue we immediately feel a craving to perform the behaviour again.
The more attractive something is, the more likely it is to produce a habit. For example, eating junk food is very attractive because it satisfies the craving of our hunter-gatherer brain for foods that are rich in salt, sugar and fat. This type of food was rare in the habitat of our ancestors.
There are various techniques to make behaviour more or less attractive.
⚒️ Build habits: Temptation bundling
Temptation bundling is a technique in which you make an action more attractive by linking it to an action you like to do. This is how you can make difficult habits more attractive: While / After <habit I need>, I will <action I like>. You only allow yourself to perform your desired action while or after you perform the required action. For example, if you need to exercise more and you like watching TV, bundle the two: While I'm running on the treadmill, I will watch TV. Or if you need to spend more time on your studies and you like playing video games: After completing a certain set of study assignments, I will play video games.
The hope is that ultimately you look forward to doing what you have to do because it gives you what you love to do.
⚒️ Build habits: Change your social environment
Humans are social animals, biologically hardwired to be tribal. One of the deepest human desires is to fit in and connect with others. Therefore, behaviour that helps us belong is attractive.
Proximity has a powerful effect on your behaviour. The closer you are to others, the more likely you are to imitate some of their habits. One of the most effective ways of building desired habits is to join a social environment where your desired behaviour is the habitual behaviour. Surround yourself with people who have the habits you want. If you want to get fit, surround yourself with fit people. If you want to read more books, join a book club. If you want to walk more, join a walking club.
Belonging to a tribe of likeminded people supports your motivation. Your identity (‘I am a reader’) becomes linked to the people around you (‘We are readers’), which reinforces your personal identity and ensures that your behaviour lasts in the long term.
⚒️ Build habits: Reframe difficult habits
You can make a difficult habit seem more attractive by changing your perspective.
You often use the word ‘have’ when you think of good but difficult habits. I have to go to the gym. I have to eat more vegetables. I have to go to bed on time. Change your perspective by replacing the word ‘have’ with the word ‘get’. I get to go to the gym. I get to eat more vegetables. I get to go to bed on time. Instead of seeing these behaviours as obligations (have), you now see them as opportunities (get). Both perspectives are valid, but the second is more helpful in building a new habit.
You can also change your perspective by emphasising the benefits of habits rather than their drawbacks (reframe). Instead of associating going to the gym with the time and energy it takes, emphasise the strength and endurance you build. Instead of associating eating vegetables with their bitter taste, highlight the health effects, such as a reduced risk of heart disease and stroke.
Before giving a presentation, many people experience an increased heart rate, sweaty palms, shortness of breath and muscle tension. Instead of negatively interpreting these physical sensations as a feeling of nervousness, reframing them positively as a feeling of excitement can help them perform better.
⚒️ Build habits: Create a motivation ritual
Create a motivation ritual that puts you in the right mental state to perform a habit you find hard to do.
Find something you do every day that makes you happy, like taking a hot shower or eating a piece of chocolate. Create a short routine of a few actions, such as taking three deep breaths and then smiling. Perform this routine every time right before doing the activity that makes you happy. After doing this many times, you will begin to associate the routine with feeling happy.
Once the routine has become a cue that makes you feel happy, use it whenever you want to improve your emotional state. If you feel stressed, anxious or sad: take three deep breaths and smile! Performing this routine immediately before performing a habit you find difficult will improve your emotional state and boost your motivation.
⚒️ Break habits: Through the underlying motive
A powerful way to break a habit is to use two principles: You don't want the habit itself, but the better feeling it produces. There are many different ways to produce a particular better feeling.
For details on how to use these principles to break (bad) habits, see
🔗 How to break a bad habit through the underlying motive
🎉👏🎈
Making behaviour attractive or unattractive is a powerful tool for building and breaking habits. It is based on the second step of James Clear’s four-step habit model: cue, craving, response, and reward. Always keep your ultimate goal in mind: becoming the type of person you want to be.
References
Atomic Habits, by James Clear
My blogposts about habits are available here:
https://www.a3lifedesign.com/blog-english/category/Habits
