Habits: Determine which habits you want to build or break
Determine which habits can help you become the type of person you want to be.
In a previous phase you determined what result you want to achieve in the life area that most needs improvement, and the type of person who can achieve your desired result. You also created a habits scorecard to increase your awareness of your daily habits. Based on this information, you will now determine which habits you want to build or break to become the type of person you want to be and achieve the result you want. To avoid becoming overwhelmed, don’t try to change too much at once, but focus on building or breaking just one habit at a time. In this phase you decide which habits you want to build or break, you don’t change anything yet.
Examples
Here are two examples of a type of person and some habits that can reinforce this type of person. Each habit description uses the ‘when – then’ format.
Example 1: Habits that reinforce the type of person who is disciplined in sticking to exercise schedules and effective in prioritising exercise above other urgent or important activities:
👉 When it’s time to exercise, then I exercise, even when I don’t feel like it or when I have important other things to do.
👉 When I miss a workout, then I won't miss the next one. I will never miss twice in a row.
👉 When I have a workout planned for the next day, then I prepare my workout gear right after dinner.
👉 When I complete a workout, then I register this achievement into my habit tracker.
Example 2: Habits that reinforce the type of person who is able to control impulses and make healthier food choices, and is resilient in bouncing back from setbacks and staying the course:
👉 When I buy food, then I only buy nutritious food, even if I long to buy unhealthy food.
👉 When it's seven o'clock on Sunday evening, then I prepare healthy meals for the rest of the week.
👉 When I have the urge to eat unhealthy food, then I postpone my decision for a few minutes.
👉 When faced with adversity, then I practice self-compassion and positive self-talk.
👉 When I face a setback, then I view it as a learning opportunity and develop strategies to avoid it in the future.
Alignment with life purpose and personal values
Habits are easier to maintain when they align with your life purpose and personal values, so keep this in mind when deciding which habits to build or break.
👉 Your life purpose is about what you think is important to do with your time, the activities that make life worth living for you. Your life purpose is based in part on your strengths and skills, and on what makes you feel most joyful or happy, truly alive, fully engaged, completely yourself, or totally fulfilled.
👉 Your personal values indicate how you want to behave and what type of person you want to be. They are your personal how, your qualities of doing and being. Some examples: Courage – doing what is right or necessary despite fear, Creativity – being original or innovative, Connection – striving to connect with others.
Alignment with your natural abilities and personality traits
Habits are easier to maintain when they match your natural abilities and personality traits. So keep this in mind when deciding which habits you want to develop.
People differ in natural mental and physical abilities. For example, some people are naturally better at math than others. The same goes for running, swimming, playing musical instruments, playing chess, painting, sculpting, problem solving, remembering information and much more. Your natural abilities determine your strengths and the activities in which you can excel or find fulfilment. Habits are easier to build and maintain when they match your natural abilities. For example, people with strong analytical skills are attracted to habits such as solving puzzles and brain teasers, and critically analysing texts. People with strong athletic abilities are attracted to habits such as regular training and participation in competitive sports.
Your personality is the set of enduring personality traits that is consistent across situations. The most widely accepted theory of personality traits is the Five Factor Model (the Big Five), which divides personality traits into five basic dimensions, each representing a range between two extremes: openness to experience (from inventive/curious to consistent/cautious), conscientiousness (efficient/organised to extravagant/careless), extroversion (outgoing/energetic to solitary/reserved), agreeableness (friendly/compassionate to critical/rational) and neuroticism (sensitive/nervous to resilient/confident). Habits are easier to build and maintain when they match your personality. For example, introverted individuals are drawn to habits such as reading, writing, painting and journalling. Nervous individuals may be drawn to habits such as practicing gratitude, yoga, walking and practicing stress management techniques.
⚒️ Determine which habits to build: gather information
You want to build habits that will help you become the type of person you want to be and help you achieve the result you want. To increase your chances of building habits that last, they should align with your life purpose, personal values, natural abilities and personality traits.
To determine suitable habits you could gather information by:
👉 Search online, read books, listen to podcasts, or watch videos to gather information about suitable habits.
👉 Ask others, such as friends or close family members, for suggestions.
👉 Brainstorm suitable habits. Do this with a small group of people if possible, because each group member brings a unique perspective, and interacting with others provides ideas that might not emerge when working alone.
👉 Think about times when you have had success in the past. What habits contributed to the success?
👉 Identify individuals who embody the qualities and achievements you aspire to. Analyse the habits that contribute to their success.
Make a list of the habits you want to build. Increase your chances of successfully developing new habits by working on one habit at a time. Choose the habit that you think will most help you become the person you want to be.
⚒️ Determine which habits to build: via trial and error
An effective approach to choose habits that work best for you is to use trial and error.
Try out several behaviours to learn from your experiences and discover what works best for you in practice. Through trial and error you can select behaviours that fit your individual life purpose, personal values, abilities and personality traits. If certain behaviours do not produce the desired results, trial and error allows for adjustment. You can adjust the behaviour or change the timing until you find a way that suits you. Trial and error isn't just about discovering what works; it's also a journey of self-discovery. Along the way you may learn more about your preferences, strengths and areas for improvement.
To come up with satisfactory options during the experimentation phase, you can ask yourself questions such as: What do I like? What makes me lose track of time? What makes me feel fully engaged? What makes me feel like I’m really alive? What comes naturally to me?
After a period of trial and error, choose the best behaviour you found as the habit you want to build.
⚒️ Determine which habits you want to break
Check out the habits on your habits scorecard that have bad (-) rating. Bad habits are habits that harm you in the long run, that keep you from becoming the type of person you want to be, or that are not aligned with your life purpose and personal values. You may want to break the habit that has the most significant negative influence on achieving the result you want, or the largest time-wasting habit.
You can also brainstorm what habits are currently hindering your progress toward becoming the type of person you want to be. Then choose the habit you want to tackle first.
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Once you've determined which habit you want to tackle, start building or breaking it. After you tackle a habit, you can start working on the next habit if necessary.
References
Atomic Habits, by James Clear
My blogposts about habits are available here:
https://www.a3lifedesign.com/blog-english/category/Habits
