Inquiry

Inquire your thoughts instead of being attached to them.

The first step is to write down your judgments about a painful situation or person in your life. Write down your judgments just the way you think them. Don’t censor your thoughts, be judgmental and harsh. Who has angered you? What do you think of them? How do you want them to change? What should or shouldn’t they do? What do you need from them to be happy?

By doing The Work you see who you are by seeing who you think other people are. Everything outside you is a reflection of your own thinking. To be happy you need to change the projector (your mind) rather than the projected (the world).

Every painful story is a variation on a single theme: This shouldn’t be happening, life isn’t fair.

The second step is to investigate each of the statements that you wrote down one by one, by answering The Four Questions and doing the Turnaround.

1. Is it true? Ask yourself if the statement is true (yes or no). Take your time to find your answer.

2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Ask yourself if you really can know if it’s true (yes or no).

3. How do you react when you think that thought? Make a list of your reactions when you think that thought, for instance how you treat yourself or the other person.

4. Who or what would you be without the thought? Close your eyes and imagine yourself not having the thought.

Turn the statement around.

Write the statement as if it were written about you. For instance turn around “I don’t like John because he doesn’t listen to me” into “I don’t like myself because I don’t listen to John” or into “I don’t like myself because I don’t listen to myself”. 

Or do a 180-degree turnaround to the opposite. For instance turn around “John should be kind to me” into “John shouldn’t be kind to me.”

Consider whether a turned-around statement is as true or truer for you than the original statement.

Doing The Work

As follow-up to the third question you can ask two subsidiary questions:

• Can you see a reason to drop that thought?

• Can you find one stress-free reason to keep the thought?

The Work does not condone any harmful action. The Work is not about people, but about our thoughts about people.

The stories you tell yourself make you happy or sad. Nothing is happening but your story. Life begins from where you are now, be happy and free. If you still feel pain when someone rejects you, you realize that your Work’s not done yet. Nobody can hurt you emotionally, unless you let them.

Question 1: Is it true?

If your answer to this question is yes, then ask yourself:

• What’s the reality of this situation? Reality is that which is true. In reality there is no such thing as a “should” or a “shouldn’t”. Accept reality as it is.

• Whose business are you mentally in? When you think that someone or something else needs to change, then you’re mentally out of your business.

Question 2: Can you absolutely know that it’s true?

The world is what it is, there is no “what should be”. Every story, prior to investigation, hides the truth from view. Can you really know what’s going on inside someone else’s mind? Is your emotional hurt really caused by the other person?

When you feel uncomfortable with your yes, you might want to produce new statements to allow inquiry to go deeper. Adding “and it means that…” to your original statement reveals your interpretation of that statement. What do you think you would have? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the “should”? Where’s your proof? Write down the new statements and take them through The Four Questions and the Turnaround.

Question 3: How do you react when you think that thought?

Observe the internal cause and effect of the thought. Observe the feelings that are caused by believing the thought is true.

Can you see a reason to drop that thought? (And please don’t drop it) Inquiry is about investigating the thought, not about dropping it. Once you see the truth, the thought lets go of you.

Can you find one stress-free reason to keep the thought?

Question 4: Who or what would you be without the thought?

Close your eyes and imagine who you would be if you couldn’t think the thought. What do you see? How do you feel without this story? Which do you prefer: with or without your story?

The Turnaround

You take what you have written about others, and see if it is as true or truer when it applies to you. As long as you think that others are responsible for your suffering, you are in the role of the victim. Your perceived enemy is a projection of your thinking.

A judgment can be turned around to yourself, to the other, and to the opposite. Find the turnarounds that move you to self-realization. Find examples of how you actually experience the turnaround in your life. Everything you think you see on the outside is really a projection of your own mind.

When due to a turnaround you feel that you harmed someone in any way, make amends to yourself by making amends to the other person.

What is success? What do you want to achieve? Without your uncomfortable stories, you’re successful wherever you are. Your work and money problems are caused by your way of thinking. Money won’t necessarily make you feel happy, safe or secure. When you clean up all the trash and pollution in your thinking, you can take effective action.

Without your uncomfortable stories you act without suffering and stress. When you think you’ll be happy once you have a lot of money, skip the money part for now and just be happy from here. Your thoughts and actions hurt you if they are out of alignment with your integrity. If someone says something to you that hurts, it reveals something to you that you don't want to face yet. If you feel anger, do The Work on the thought behind it.

Many of us judge ourselves relentlessly. Once investigated, these self-judgments melt away. If you experience stress at the thought of loving yourself, then investigate that thought by using the four questions and the turnaround. The Work deals with thoughts, not people. Find three successes each day. It’s the thought that is painful, not your life.

Our judgments are often based on underlying beliefs that we have never investigated. These beliefs are more general versions of our stories. For example: life is unfair, my life should have a purpose.

For a judgment, write down all the evidence you have for that judgment, which gives you a list of the underlying beliefs. Do The Work on the underlying beliefs that seem to be obstacles to your freedom. The most pertinent turnaround in this case is often the 180-degree turnaround.

You can do The Work on any uncomfortable thought, also thoughts about local and global issues. Judge it, investigate it, turn it around, and set yourself free. When you get to the turnaround, replace the issue with the words “my thinking”, wherever that seems appropriate.

When you find it difficult to identify the thoughts behind a feeling, try the following. Write down objectively what appears as the facts, the emotions that were triggered, your interpretation of the facts (what they mean to you), what you really need to be happy again (your requirements), what you would have after all your needs are fulfilled, and your harsh judgments of the other person. Underline the statements with the highest emotional charge, and do The Work on them.

Where there are no thoughts, there’s no problem. Our problem is always a thought that we innocently believe. Who would you be without your “should” or “shouldn’t”? Addicts try to shut down their uncomfortable thoughts with what they are addicted to.

You don’t have to investigate all your beliefs. Just investigate the belief that’s causing you stress right now.

You’re either attached to an uncomfortable thought or investigating its validity.

When you ask yourself if something is true, your mind begins to open.

The important question is: How do you see yourself?

The point is: How can you be most effective in this moment, given that what is is? Accepting reality doesn’t mean that you’re going to be passive.

Enlightenment is a spiritual concept, just one more thing to seek in a future that never comes. Experience is everything. If you are suffering now, investigate your thoughts. Who cares about enlightenment when you’re happy right now?

There is only one problem ever: your uninvestigated story in the moment.