Turn reframing into a habit to help you feel better and act more effectively.

Do you realize how your perspective shapes the way you feel and act every day?

Have you ever tried changing how you see things to change how you feel?

What if you could make reframing your perspective a habit that improves your life?

✳️✳️✳️

Whenever we encounter something, we see it through a frame. A frame is like a mental lens that shapes how we understand and interpret what’s happening. It influences the meaning we give to an experience, what stands out as important or unimportant, what grabs our attention or gets overlooked, and how we feel about the experience. Ultimately, it guides the choices we make in response.

For example, imagine you’re about to give a presentation. How you frame the situation can make a huge difference. If you see it as a challenge, you’re likely to feel excited and motivated, preparing thoroughly and delivering your ideas with confidence. But if you view it as a threat, you might feel anxious or overwhelmed, which could lead to overthinking or hesitation during the presentation.

The same applies when a colleague gets a promotion you were hoping for. If you adopt an abundance mindset, you might feel inspired, recognizing that opportunities still exist for you, and use this moment as motivation to grow and develop your skills. On the other hand, a scarcity mindset could make you see this as a loss, leading to feelings of resentment or helplessness, and possibly causing you to disengage.

Silver medalists at the Olympics often feel disappointed or frustrated because they were so close to winning gold. They frame their outcome as the loss of the gold medal, focusing on what they didn’t achieve, which may cause them to hold back from celebrating their success. In contrast, bronze medalists often feel proud and satisfied, framing their outcome as the gain of the bronze medal, focusing on what they did achieve, and feeling motivated to celebrate their success.

These examples highlight how our perspective—or frame—not only shapes how we feel but also influences the actions we take in response to the situations we encounter.

Unhelpful frames

Unhelpful frames are mental perspectives that cause us to see situations in a detrimental or unproductive way. Negativity bias reinforces these frames by leading us to focus more on the negative aspects of a situation than the positive ones. The tricky part is that we don’t always realize we’re looking through a frame, which can make it feel like our unhelpful interpretation is the only truth. WYSIATI bias—“What You See Is All There Is”—further entrenches this by discouraging us from seeking out other perspectives, causing us to overlook what we might be missing.

For example, sometimes we see things through an "It’s All About Me" frame, where we interpret situations as being personal. If someone seems distracted or short with you in a conversation, you might assume they’re upset with you or don’t like you. In reality, they could be stressed or preoccupied with something unrelated to you. This frame can create unnecessary worry and tension, causing you to doubt yourself and potentially harm your relationships without any real reason.

Another common unhelpful frame is the "All or Nothing" mindset, where you see things in extremes—either complete success or total failure. If you set a goal and don’t achieve it perfectly, you might feel like the entire effort was a waste, instead of recognizing the progress you made along the way. This type of thinking can lead to frustration and make it harder to stay motivated in the long run.

These examples show how certain frames can distort our perspective and make it harder to respond constructively to the situations we encounter. Confirmation bias adds to this distortion by making us seek out evidence that supports our existing frame while ignoring information that challenges it, keeping us stuck in unhelpful patterns of thinking.

Reframing

We can't avoid framing things. We always look at situations from a certain point of view, and it's impossible to see everything from every angle. Since we're usually unaware of our frames, we often mistake our personal interpretation for the truth. However, there’s almost always more than one way to see the things we experience. By becoming aware of our frames, we can practice reframing—choosing to look at things in different ways to help us open up to new perspectives, manage our emotions more effectively, and respond more effectively to situations.

For example, for the "It’s All About Me" frame, if you tend to see situations as personal attacks, like assuming someone is upset with you when they seem distracted or short, try reframing the situation. Instead of thinking, "They don’t like me," consider, "They might be having a tough day or dealing with something else." This shift helps you avoid unnecessary worry and keeps you from doubting yourself when there’s no reason to.

And if you’re caught in an "All or Nothing" frame, where you see success as only complete success or total failure, try reframing your thinking. Instead of thinking, "I didn’t get it perfect, so it’s a failure," reframe it to, "I made progress, and there’s room for improvement." This helps you focus on the steps forward rather than feeling frustrated by imperfections, and it keeps you motivated to continue growing.

A reframe doesn’t necessarily have to be objectively true—it just needs to be useful in helping you navigate the situation effectively. This doesn’t mean adopting delusional or unrealistic perspectives, but rather choosing a frame that supports your well-being and personal goals. For instance, if you’re facing a daunting challenge, reframing it as an “opportunity to learn and grow” might not fully capture the difficulty you’re experiencing, but it can motivate you to take constructive action instead of giving up. The key is to adopt a perspective that encourages productive, empowering responses aligned with your personal values and life purpose.

How to make reframing into a habit

Reframing is a powerful way to improve both how you feel and how you respond to life’s situations. Like any skill, it takes practice to turn reframing into a habit, but the rewards are worth it: greater emotional balance and more effective actions. The more you practice reframing, the easier it becomes to shift your perspective. The following techniques can help you make reframing a habit.

⚒️ Become aware of how your frames shape feelings and actions

The first step in reframing is to notice when you're stuck in negative or limiting thoughts. Pay attention to moments when you feel frustration, disappointment, or anxiety. When you catch yourself in these moments, pause and take a deep breath. Ask yourself: 

🤔  How am I interpreting this situation? Reflect on your current perspective to identify any unhelpful frames.

This gives you a moment to recognize your frame and get ready to shift it if needed.

⚒️ Shift unhelpful frames to constructive ones

When you’ve identified an unhelpful frame, ask yourself this question to challenge your perspective:

🤔 How can I interpret this situation in more positive or helpful ways? Reflect on different ways you could see the situation to find a view that feels more balanced or empowering.

This question helps you step outside your initial frame and open up new ways of thinking. The goal is to shift your perspective in a way that supports progress and helps you move towards living the life you want.

⚒️ Build your reframing habit in everyday moments

Practicing reframing with small, everyday moments where the stakes are low helps you build the skill over time. For example, if you’re stuck in traffic and running late, instead of stressing out, see it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite podcast, enjoy some music, or take a moment to breathe and reset.

By building the habit of shifting your perspective in these low-pressure moments, you’ll find it easier to apply reframing when bigger challenges come your way.

⚒️ Prepare for challenges with mental rehearsal

Practicing reframing in your mind helps you prepare for situations where shifting your perspective might be more difficult. Imagine a scenario that could trigger stress, frustration, or self-doubt, and mentally walk through how you might reframe it. For example, if you’re worried about making a mistake during a presentation, rehearse viewing it as a learning opportunity instead of a failure. Visualize yourself staying calm, focusing on what you can improve, and moving forward with confidence.

By mentally rehearsing reframing, you build the habit of choosing more helpful perspectives, so it becomes easier to respond constructively when challenges arise in real life.

⚒️  Harness the power of language to reframe

The words you use in your mind are powerful—they directly shape how you feel and influence how you act. For example, if you’re nervous about a big meeting, try reframing it by replacing “I’m scared” with “I’m excited to contribute.” Similarly, swap words like “failure” with “learning experience” or “mistake” with “opportunity to improve.” If you find yourself thinking, “I can’t do this,” add the word “yet” to shift your perspective: “I can’t do this yet.” These small changes encourage growth, helping you feel more capable and act with greater confidence.

Using more positive and encouraging language can help you feel better and create a frame that feels more constructive and empowering.

Additional tips

👉 Be patient with yourself: Habits take time to form, and reframing is no different. Be patient with yourself as you work to make this skill automatic. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks; instead, see them as part of the learning process.

👉 Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when you catch yourself in an unhelpful frame. Instead of judging yourself for not reframing immediately, acknowledge that you’re learning and growing. This will make it easier to keep going, even when it’s tough.

👉 Stay true to what’s important to you: Stay aligned with your personal values and life purpose, but be open to replacing frames that limit you or don’t support your growth. Reframing isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about adjusting your perspective in ways that help you remain true to your values while embracing new opportunities and more positive outcomes.

👉 Focus on long-term benefits: As you practice reframing, notice how it improves your emotional resilience and helps you make better choices. Over time, reframing becomes a tool not just for immediate challenges but for personal and professional growth.

👉 Track your progress: Keep a simple journal or note on your phone about moments when you successfully reframe a situation or when you catch yourself in an unhelpful frame. Reflecting on these moments regularly will help reinforce your progress and motivate you to keep practicing.

👉 Celebrate small successes: Take a moment to celebrate every time you successfully reframe a situation, no matter how small. Recognizing and appreciating these small victories helps reinforce the habit and boosts your confidence. For example, give yourself a mental high-five, smile, or take a quick break to do something you enjoy, like stretching or having a favorite snack. The more you celebrate progress, the more motivated you’ll be to continue practicing reframing.

These tips can further support and encourage the habit-building process.

🎉👏🎈

When you make reframing a habit, you transform not just how you feel about situations but how you respond to them. By stepping outside unhelpful frames and adopting more constructive perspectives, you’ll unlock emotional resilience and the ability to act with clarity and purpose.

References

-

 

Topics & Contact